A Story of NLP In Action – from one of our readers, John Lambert.
“I hadn’t seen ‘Susan’ at work for a few days,
She drives her van to work when it’s not cold or raining (she broke the driver’s side window out one day when she locked her keys inside).
She doesn’t have the money to fix the window so on ‘bad’ weather days she drives her boyfriend’s truck to work.
When I saw her Sunday morning at work I knew something was wrong.
She wasn’t her usual self and had a ‘far off’ look in her eyes–no eye contact, ‘defocused’. She wasn’t in ‘dress code’. She wasn’t talking much;
she was moving away from people and she looked as though she needed some space so I gave her a little space and some time.
A little later I walked over to her work area. The conversations went something like this-
“Hey, Good morning Susan, you look like you don’t feel very good.
No I don’t… I haven’t had anything to eat
Do you need some coffee or a something to drink?
No I’m OK right now but yesterday… I got so scared…
I was dizzy and my hands and fingers started cramping up like they were paralyzed
Have you had anything to eat today… do you need something?
No It’s just that me and ‘Todd’… we’ve been fighting and arguing and I get so upset
that then I can’t eat anything.
So what’s going on with ‘Todd,’ I asked.
You know I think he’s like bipolar. He can be up one or two days and down the next.
So how long have you been fighting?
It’s been off and on for a couple of weeks now, I think a lot of it is just financial stress
since he doesn’t have a job (he works in construction) and you know I haven’t been working much lately.
I know, nobody has had many hours. So what is it that you want?
I just want us to stop fighting.
Can you go back and think about a time when you quit and that fight/argument had come to an end?
Yeah, it’s happened before. Once I just left and went and lived with my mom for a while.
I want it to be the way it was when we first met.
What else do you want?
I’d like to help him get back into a routine, he’s been working a little with his dad (construction) and he needs to get back into a routine so he works when he has the opportunity.
OK you know the fighting needs to stop… you know everyone needs a break. Even star athletes – football players (Its Super Bowl week), boxers and martial artists take breaks. They have short rounds or matches, they take time outs, and they have a way to keep score. And you know you can get him into a routine, you’ve done that, you know how to do that.
Then we talk about different options to limit the fighting and ‘nit picking’.
She decided that throwing a bucket of cold water on him and declaring him winner
of the ‘game’ was maybe a little too much; patting his face down with a wet wash cloth or towel and saying something like ‘I think the fight is over… you stay in your corner and think about it” might be more acceptable. She realized she could start noticing the other ways of knowing what stops and starts their fighting and arguing, and have more choices about it.
My primary goal at work was just to find out what was going on with her, help her into a more productive ‘state,’ and see that she could do her tasks for the day.
This entire conversation took just a few minutes, and she was a much happier person, and the day went easier for both of us.
What we learn in NLP is application. It’s learning by doing….and sometimes it’s doing,
then learning…from the response or feedback from our actions.” – John Lambert
This is simply another of the many examples and stories we’re told by our students, people just like you, of how NLP has made their lives easier.
The magic of NLP is that it is so natural it’s hardly noticeable. John used three presuppositions, five basic NLP perceptual skills, three language patterns, and a bit more. How many do you recognize?
In both business and personal settings, it’s your skill level…Your flexibility of behavior,
your ability to create rapport, to listen and Hear, to see distinctions, to be at ease and quickly adapt to different environments that gives you an ‘edge’.
The more of these NLP skills you master and can use personally, the more choices and options you have, and the more resourceful you are.
There are many arenas where NLP is valuable in the work place.
You Can Apply these Skills in
- Marketing, Sales and Customer Relations,
- Building and Communicating an Organizational Vision,
- Project Management,
- Negotiation and Mediation,
- Changing corporate cultures, and improving morale
- Presentation Skills and Public Speaking
- Management Development
- Training and Education
- Defining and redefining roles in the organization.
- Conversational (covert) Coaching with associates and peers (like above)
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