“I’ll try.” Sounds harmless, right? In NLP, “try” is a built-in escape hatch—it presupposes failure before you’ve even started. And it’s hiding in your language more often than you think.
We’ll break down the linguistic presuppositions behind “try,” why they sabotage follow-through, and give you a replacement phrase that instantly increases commitment. Along the way, you’ll see how this small shift can significantly impact outcomes in coaching, leadership, and personal growth.
Why “Try” Is a Problem Word
Language doesn’t just describe reality—it shapes it. In NLP, words like “try” are more than casual filler; they carry embedded assumptions, or presuppositions, that influence behavior. When you say, “I’ll try,” the unspoken message is, I probably won’t succeed, but I’ll make a token effort.
Think about the last time you told someone, “I’ll try to be there.”
Did you mean you were fully committed, or were you softening the refusal you didn’t want to say out loud? In most cases, “try” is linguistic camouflage for uncertainty, reluctance, or an intention that’s already wavering.
The mind hears that subtext, even when you don’t say it explicitly. And it acts accordingly.
The Presuppositions Behind “Try”
“I’ll try” contains at least three embedded messages:
- Failure is a likely outcome. You’re predicting the possibility of not doing it before you begin.
- Effort may not be sustained. “Try” implies an attempt without a guarantee, as though effort and success are separate.
- The decision is incomplete. There’s an escape clause—if conditions aren’t perfect, you can back out without breaking your word.
From a behavioral standpoint, these presuppositions weaken follow-through because they keep your nervous system in evaluation mode instead of commitment mode.
Why It Matters in Coaching, Leadership, and Personal Change
In coaching, “try” can stall progress. A client who says, “I’ll try to practice the exercise before next session,” is already signaling they may not. Without a clear commitment, accountability has no anchor.
In leadership, “try” erodes trust. A leader telling their team, “We’ll try to hit that deadline,” sets a tone of uncertainty. People pick up on the lack of decisiveness and match it in their own work.
In personal change, “try” undermines self-image. Telling yourself, “I’ll try to work out three times this week” subtly permits you to skip—and each skip reinforces the identity of someone who doesn’t follow through.
The Replacement That Changes Everything
The simplest shift is to replace “try” with a definitive commitment. That might mean:
- “I will.” Clear, direct, and non-negotiable.
- “I am.” Even stronger, spoken as if the action is already in motion.
- “I commit to…” Formalizes the decision and attaches it to your identity.
Example:
Instead of, “I’ll try to make that call tomorrow,” say, “I will call tomorrow at 10 a.m.” The latter gives your mind a clear directive and removes ambiguity.
But What If You’re Not Sure?
One reason people default to “try” is that they don’t want to overpromise. The solution isn’t to hedge—it’s to clarify.
If you genuinely don’t know whether you can do something, say so, and set a new condition:
- “I’m not sure I can make it tomorrow—can we confirm by 5 p.m.?”
- “That’s not realistic today, but I can have it to you by Thursday.”
This preserves trust and avoids embedding the failure presupposition of “try.”
How to Catch Yourself in the Act
Changing habitual language starts with awareness. For the next 24 hours, notice every time you say or think “try.” Ask yourself:
- Am I signaling real commitment or hedging?
- What would a clear commitment or honest boundary sound like instead?
- How does my body feel when I replace “try” with “will” or “am”?
You may notice an immediate shift in posture, tone, or energy when you make the change.
A Leadership Example
A department head tells their team, “We’ll try to improve communication this quarter.” The team hears it as optional—something nice to have, not a must-have. Meetings continue to run long. Emails still go unanswered.
Contrast that with: “This quarter, we will respond to all internal messages within one business day. Let’s start tracking response times to see how we’re doing.” Suddenly, there’s clarity, a measurable standard, and no space for misinterpretation.
A Coaching Example
A client says, “I’ll try to do the journaling exercise.” You respond, “Let’s pause on ‘try.’ Do you commit to doing it, or do we need to adjust the exercise so it’s workable?” This invites them into an active decision instead of leaving them in limbo.
A Personal Change Example
You’ve been saying, “I’ll try to get to bed earlier.” Replace it with, “I will be in bed by 10:30 p.m. on weekdays.” Then pair it with a behavioral cue—set an alarm for 10:00 p.m. to start winding down. Over time, this creates a pattern your body follows automatically.
Why This Works
From an NLP perspective, you’re removing the presupposition of possible failure and replacing it with a presupposition of completion. You’re also shifting from a test frame to a do frame—no evaluation midstream, just execution.
From a Core Impact perspective, you’re moving from reactive language that erodes self-trust to designed language that aligns with the identity you want to embody.
Practice: The 24-Hour “No Try” Challenge
For the next day, banish “try” from your vocabulary. When you catch yourself saying it:
- Stop and rephrase with a definitive commitment (“I will” / “I am” / “I commit to”).
- If you can’t commit, give a clear alternative (“I can’t do that, but here’s what I can do”).
- Notice how others respond to the shift in certainty.
You may be surprised how quickly people—and your own mind—adjust to the clarity.
From Habit to Identity
At first, removing “try” feels like a linguistic exercise. Over time, it reshapes your self-image. You become the person who speaks in commitments, not half-promises. That identity shift impacts not just what you say, but how you follow through.
What If This Became Your Default?
What would change if every statement about your future actions carried the energy of certainty?
What if your clients, colleagues, and loved ones could trust your words without wondering if you’d follow through?
What if your own nervous system treated your commitments as non-negotiable, because your language no longer left an escape route?
That’s not a hypothetical. It’s a choice. And it starts with the next sentence you speak.