Phobia Process Update:
It took longer than expected but we finally have the original “bee phobia” video ready for you! This is the original video of Steve Andreas curing a woman of her phobia of bees. This case study resulted in the twenty-five year follow up that I posted a couple weeks ago.
I think you’ll find the differences interesting – and a little amusing, too! The original is twelve minutes in length and the follow up is seven.
A fascinating new program for fitness and weight loss
A ground breaking NLP modeling project has resulted in a comprehensive new program for fitness and weight loss. A team of very competent NLP Master Practitioners including Kevin Creedon did the modeling work. This is an great demonstration of using NLP to solve a specific problem. The result is a thorough program that is getting rave reviews by people both inside and outside the NLP world. Click Here for the whole story.
The “other Tom” who occasionally writes for you here is back with another of his great pieces.
Tom has a real gift for demonstrating how easily the use of NLP in daily life, in a casual conversation, can create profound change.
It’s refreshing to me to be reminded of how easily the language skills we learn in NLP can be used in our daily lives!
“How to Lubricate a Mind” – Tom Hoobyar
Ever hear someone say, “I can’t do it,” or “It can’t be
There are lots of versions of that statement, all meaning
Ever been tempted to argue? Or contradict the statement
with, “Of course you can do it, all you gotta do is TRY!”
Didn’t work out too good, huh?
Here’s a little principle of human nature that can come in
handy when you’re tempted to argue someone into success.
When anyone hears a question, no matter how unthinkable, he
or she automatically imagines an answer.
Try it for yourself — pick something you don’t think you
can do, or do well.
Then, ask yourself this question: “What would it be like if
I could do _________ really well?”
Notice that you actually considered what it would be like if
Your brain automatically imagines what it would be like —
it can’t help it. You have to be unconscious to avoid
having that happen. It’s hard-wired.
“Duh”, you say, “so what?”
Here’s what. Something important happens when someone
imagines something that was considered impossible as
The mind from the frozen position of “impossible” to one of,
“what would it be like if…?” and that’s a much more
resourceful state to be in.
IT MAKES IT SEEM POSSIBLE!
So let’s see where that takes us. Hmmm. What kinds of
questions might you decide to ask, in what situations, if
you knew that the listener unconsciously and automatically
HAD TO IMAGINE the answer?
This is really a huge advantage, when you think about it.
You can get people to think about just about anything you
want, by asking them what that thing might be like.
This is the secret behind those courses teaching “speed
seduction”, by the way. It goes like, “What was your
favorite date?” or, “What would it feel like if you were
having a really good time?”, and more suggestive questions.
The important thing is that by asking a question you are
pointing a person’s attention toward creating an answer.
It’s like shaking a toy on a string in front of a cat.
Cats can’t help but focus on the sudden motion. They’re
predators, wired to respond to jerky movements.
Well, human brains are wired to notice questions and imagine
Even more usefully, you can loosen up just about any
attitude if you go, “Yeah, I know it’s impossible. Of course
you can’t. But I was just wondering, what would it be like
if you could…?”
So, do you know why YOU FIRST MUST AGREE with them??
It’s because people’s brains are contrary, and if you
immediately contradict what someone says you will LOCK THEM
IN to that attitude.
That’s not what you want to do, unless you just get off on
having debates. You may have noticed what happens inside
your own mind when someone just flatly disputes something
you say. Not too charming, huh?
Doesn’t it make you more stubborn? Probably the last thing
you feel like doing is being agreeable with some jackass
that just told you that you were wrong.
Same thing with the other guy.
So, to change someone’s thinking about what’s “impossible”,
the process is:
FIRST — agree with them that they can’t, or that of course
it’s impossible, or whatever the limitation is.
SECOND — ask them, “But what would it be like if you
Try it on a few people you know when the time is right. When
you see how easily this works, you might be tempted to make
it a habit. After all, who knows?
What would it be like if everyone you knew was able to do
whatever they wanted to do?
You gotta wonder, what would THAT be like?
Find more of Tom’s stories here: www.tomhoobyar.com